Obituary

Mom's obituary will be published in the Arizona Republic on Wednesday and in the Altoona Mirror on Thursday.  It is also on the Bunker Family website at
http://www.bunkercares.com/susan-june-jemison.9974.obit

Funeral Information

We finally have everything figured out!

Services for Susan Jemison
Friday, March 15 at the LDS church at
2717 E Ocotillo Rd
San Tan Valley, AZ
Viewing: 9am- 10am
Funeral: 10:30am
Burial Services to follow at
San Tan Memorial Gardens

If you want to send flowers please send them to:
Bunker Family Funeral Home
33 North Centennial Way
Mesa, AZ 85201

If you would rather make a donation in her name we think she would have liked

The National Breast Cancer Foundation
www.nbcf.org

or

Hospice of the Valley (they took such great care of Mom during her last days)
1510 E. Flower St
Phoenix, AZ 85014

Any and all are invited.  And we know so many of you will be there in spirit as well.  Again, I can't stress enough how wonderful your support has been through this.  Thank you all.

March 10

We will be figuring out logistics today.  We will post all funeral arangements when they are finalized.  Thank you for your outpouring of love and prayers- we feel your strength and even more your love for mom.  She appreciated every note and message we read to her.  Thank you for making her feel so loved in her last hours.  She loved all of you just as greatly.

March 9, 11:00pm

Mom did not believe in coincidences.  She believed in a higher power, an Almightly, loving Father in Heaven who watches over His beloved children.  Her faith in Him was strong like iron.  Her life and death were a testament of that faith.

At 4:00pm on March 9, Mom got her meds that would put her to sleep.  A few minutes before that she said goodbye to her dear friend Diane who had flown out for the day.  We had asked her if she was ready for the journey she was about to take.  She said yes.  Stephen and Grayson arrived as Diane was leaving.  We all settled in to let mom get some sleep.  I started to update the blog....

Suddenly Mom started coughing.  This was fairly normal and I prepared to help her.  And then things weren't normal.  She wasn't strong enough to get it all out and then her breathing changed.  I called the nurse.  They rushed in, sat her up, and checked her mouth.  After some observation they concluded that she had aspirated.  They told me to call my siblings- very suddenly it was time.

We were all there within an hour, including Shane, Angela's husband, and Curtis' girlfriend Angila.  We held her hands as we said our goodbyes, and expressed our love and appreciation to her.  We called family and allowed them the chance to do the same by phone.  Shane and Brandon gave her a priesthood blessing of comfort.  After almost 7 hours her breathing slowed down and we said our goodbyes once again.  And then she was gone, finally at peace, home with her earthly and Heavenly Parents.

I don't know how I would survive this without the knowledge of the Plan of Happiness- of a life after this one where our work continues; of a Savior who loves us and died for us that we might be together some day.  Amid the pain last night I felt His comfort fill me, let me know that His hand was in control.  I was supposed to be on a plane right now- but the Lord knew I needed to be there- knew that Mom needed all her children there to send her to the next life.  I will forever be grateful for the blessing of His timing- and even more grateful that I had the honor of being "Susie's daughter."

March 9 part II

Mom agreed to go off iv nutrition today.  Her abdomen was filling quickly and making her more nauseous.  We're hoping this will make her more comfortable.

She has been incoherant a lot today- asking random questions, and sometimes talking and laughing in her sleep.  My favorite randomness of the day was when she asked if she had enough money.  I told her that she had plenty.  Then she asked me for her wallet.  You want your wallet? i asked her.  She then said, "Yeah,  where's my wallet Steve?"  Anyone know the movie reference?

March 9

Yesterday was a low key day.  Mom slept almost the whole day.  She woke up for about two hours midday and another hour or so at 8 pm.  We think that sometimes she is awake but too weak to open her eyes or talk- every once in a while she raises her eyebrows or moves her lips at what we're saying.  Sometimes that's the only reaction we can get out of her.

She has some confusion.  Timelines are hard for her to follow, like when I was trying to explain when I was going home to her.  Also I think she tries to think things through and then forgets what she was thinking, so she appears to not want to answer.  (I really think she just forgets.)

When the night shift nurse came on last night, he did a brief exam and then pulled Angela and me out into the hall.  He informed us that her temperature has become not uniform- warm in some places, cool in others.  This is a sign that her circulation is starting to fail, yet another indication that her body is shutting down.  The nurse told us that patients as young as mom often hold steady for longer than others, but then crash suddenly when the body can't take anymore.  I really appriciate the nurses explaining these things to us.  I feel like I know better what to expect.

This is my last day here, unless major changes happen today.  Luckily I don't have any unsaid things with my mom.  Our relationship has always been strong and I've already apologized for all the stupid things things I've done.  Still, I tear up any time I think of saying goodbye, even though I know it's only a goodbye for this life.  I'm going to miss her so much.

March 7

No big changes today.  Mom was alert this morning, but then slept most of the afternoon.  She ate some vanilla pudding for breakfast (a few bites), and askedfor a jamba juice at lunch.  She had some pain, some nausea, but it seemed to get under control with the meds.  They added benedryl to her cocktail, which knocks her out pretty good, but has made her more comfortable.  As of now it does not look like she will be leaving us in the immediate future.  We are guessing next week sometime, as long as nothing drastically changes.  Longer if she decides she is not ready to go....

Today was an emotional day, at least for me.  Last night my huband and I decided it was time to let our 8 year old know what was happening, and she cried for an hour.  So we came up with a plan to get her a chance to talk to Gramma.  She wrote a list of all the things she wanted to ask or talk about with Gramma.  Then she fasted in the morning (went without food or water while praying for a special blessing) and asked Heavenly Father to allow Gramma to be well enough to talk with her.  So when we had a quiet moment I asked Mom if we could call, and I explained what Grace had done to prepare.  I explained to Grace that she needed to speak clearly and slowly, and allow Gramma a little extra time to answer.  I didn't need to.  Mom carried on the first full conversation I have heard her have since I got here.  She answered Grace's questions with relative ease, gave her guidance for the future, shared her favorite memories as a gramma, and complimented her testimony.  She expressed her love to her, and promised to watch over her from the other side.  And then she went on to talk to two of the other girls and expresd her love for them as well.  I couldn't hold back my tears as my heart filled with the knowledge of this small miracle that I will never forget, and that I hope my daughter does not forget as well.  The Lord does not leave us comfortless, even in such a sad time as this.  I'm grateful for my mother who taught me that lesson, and many others over the years.

March 6

I apologize for not posting last night.  We went directly to the hospice center and stayed there till after 9:00, at which point I was exhasted and collapsed into bed.  But here are my thoughts about what I saw.

Mom is small- skinny all over- except her abdomen, which is distended as if she were 6 or 7 months pregnant.  Her eyes are often half closed or fully closec- hardly ever fully open.  Her skin is cool, though she says she is not cold.  Her breathing is shallow and hitched sometimes.  And she is tired, all the time.

The doctor was in this morning.  While the infection at the drain site is better, the drain still isn't working and there is no way to fix it.  He suspects that her guts (his term, not mine) have shut down, unable to take the strain .  As time goes on, other organs will start to do the same.  As the pain and nausea increase, they will increase her meds which will sedate her more.  He suspects that she only has days, though he can't put a number on them.  He's trying to allow her to be aware as long as possible, but eventually the pain will be too much, and sleep will be the kind thing.  He also doesn't think that she'll be able to go home, since her symptoms are not easy to manage.

 Mom seemed to understand his conclusions and accept them.  Three of us werethere to hear, so we probably caught it all.  We think that all 5 of us will be there this afternoon, and we hope that she will enjoy that.

We continue to head to her your messages and she smiles or laughs at them.  I think she feels the outpouring of love- I know that we do.

March 5

I am writing from an airport lounge in Baltimore as I wait for my flight to Arizona. The snowstorm that is about to hit the mid-atlantic bumped up my plans a little, as i was supposed to fly out Wednesday.  Thank you to United Airlines for switching my flight with a smile and no fee.  I was quite impressed with their professional service and think they deserve a shout out.

Anyways, yesterday Angela got Mom into the wheelchair and took her for a tour of the facility, which she hadn't seen yet, other than her room.  They then sat outside for a bit to enjoy the beautiful Az weather.  As Angela described, it seemed for a moment that we were wrong, that she wasn't as bad as we thought,since here she was acting normal!   But then Mom got tired, and the nasuea set in, and she spiraled back down.  Each day she seems to decline.  I am glad I am getting out there today.

I'm not sure when/if mom will be able to go home.  They need to make sure she's in a condition that we can take care of her, first.  Hopefully we'll have some more answers this afternoon.

I will make sure that whatever comments that are left on facebook or on this blog will be read to here.  I love reading your memories of Mom, and how loved she is by you.  I know that she will be sorely missed by all.

I will try to update tonight when I have seen the situation through my own eyes.  Until then, thank you for the prayers, love, and support you have shown.  We are truely thankful.

March 4

Last week we learned that Mom's cancer has stopped being treatable.  Her doctor gave her a few options, but she chose to go off treatment and start hospice care at home.  This option, he said, would bring her life expectancy down to about a month, at the most. 

She was transferred to a hospice facility while Angela arranged to have the medical equipment delivered to her house.  The facility is very comfortable- a more homey setting, cheerful and set up for families to come visit.  Mom seems more comfortable there than at the hospital.  Sadly, they found an infection by her abdominal drain yesterday, so her homecoming has been delayed until it has been treated sufficiently.

Mom sleeps a lot now.  She doesn't eat much and what she does, she has trouble keeping down.  She enjoys company, but in small doses, as she tires easily.  If you are in the area, she is located at the Hospice of the Valley facility near Mercy Gilbert hospital.  You can always call Angela if you want to check before visiting.    

We are grateful for all the prayers expressed in her and our behalf lately.  We know that Mom's time her is coming to a close, but we are grateful to know that there is a life after this one where she will be welcomed with open arms.  And where she will no longer be in pain.